Apple Update

So here is a before picture of my apple in all its red, juicy delicious glory.

WARNING: Do NOT stare directly at my legs or you may go blind from the paleness.

Look at that apple... all sweet and little and innocent.

And here's a picture of the apple after I got done trying to cut it into pretty neat little wedges like I saw my sister do when she was making a fruit salad:

That bitch made it look easy. Note I was attempting to cut the apple into 6 wedgies, ended up with 5 (that is if you don't count the fact that most of the pieces are still connected to each other because I didn't cut all the way through), and it took me so long to deseed them and cut out the stem thatthey got brown.

Apparently a college degree did NOT prepare me for apple cutting. Who would have thought?
So I was talking to my friend as I was eating my hacked up apple chunks.

Your Hero: Uggh... trying to eat an apple. I'm on a mission to eat more fruits and vegetables.

Jerkface: So you hate apples?

Your Hero: It's going to be a long long road... no I like them it's just that I take a bite and then my body is like, "I'm set now where's the pizza?"

Jerkface: haha Get a dessert pizza, they have apples in them.

Your Hero: Ew, one fruit at a time... that's my food policy and my man policy.

Jerkface: Apple pizza, I'm not saying a ton of fruit I'm saying one apple on a pizza

Your Hero: Ew, I like my foods like I like my schools...
Your Hero: Segregated!
Your Hero:... wait that's not right...okay I give up on analogies.

Jerkface: Right you should have said something more along the lines of 'I like my foods like the south'.

Your Hero: Mmm! This apple gets better after it's been sitting out for 10 minutes

Jerkface: Eww!

So I debated breaking out some peanut butter or maybe a little carmel to help facilitate the process but then decided no no no... I must do this cold turkey. Knowing me I'd throw the apple aside and then I'd be lying on the floor of my room in a diabetic coma because I ate an entire jar of carmel topping.

I must be strong and ever vigilant.

The apple took me approximately 45 minutes to finish - a new record!

Next up I'm thinking I'll take on an orange.

2:^)