Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Adventures In Public Librarianship

The other day I was walking back to my car when two homeless men started yelling, "Hey Bossman" like any true city boy I didn't acknowledge their existence and scurried to my car. I threw my bookbag in the trunk and jumped into my car.

One of the vagrants came up and tapped me on the window so I did the standard roll the window down far enough they can't get a hand in. Unfortunately I have one of those automatic window roll down things which I can never get to work normally, but it did then and there was nothing but thin air protecting me from a hobo stabbing.

To describe the man he was very hairy, looked like a burn victim and was completely drunk. He even had a sketchy red cup in hand. As he wobbled there looking at me through bleary eyes he started assailing me with questions about where he could get some chicken wings. I told him I was new to the area and really had to get to class which only provoked more questions.

Then he asked to shake my hand which I obliged against my better judgment because in retrospect he probably gave me three types of hepatitis, but I digress...

So he continues to ask me questions about my life and times and then naturally asks me for money which I decline and say something nonchalant like I don't have any money either nothing's free in life haha and then he asked me for a ride which I used as my final way out of this conversation saying I had to go to school now.

So he asked me to shake his hand again and since I'd already done it once I figured I couldn't get anymore communicable diseases than I already did and as he's holding my hand he goes...

"Can I kiss yo hand?"

I squealed and said, "Absolutely not!" Then laughed hysterically as I rolled up my window so he couldn't even squeeze a finger in. He was laughing too repeating "Aboslutely not bwhahahahaha" and he asked if he'd see me again.

Such is a day in the life of me... I love public libraries for even more reasons now. More stories to come...



At 1:55 PM, Blogger Polt said...

Wow...what a prince, wanting to kiss your hand. How many guy are lucky enough to have a suitor want to kiss thier hand? It's all fairy princess-like...or maybe just fairy-like, who know...



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