Feel the Burn

Uggh it was so hot today I sweat completely through my shirt and probably would have sweat through my backpack too if I had been outside any longer. I literally toweled down as soon as I got to the library and even then I was still soaking wet.

I've taken to bringing a nalgene with me to and from work because I don't have air conditioning in my car and I have visions of getting heat stroke and being baked alive in my car... especially after I narrowly missed an accident which caused a 5 hour delay on the route I take to work. 5 hours?!!?!?! From what I remember there was a gas tanker and a tractor trailer involved and maybe a meteorite. I really don't know I don't pay attention to the news.

Still I finished my nalgene of water before I even got to work and barely made it in. Ah well... once there I was good because my sweat froze to my body in the library.

Speaking of the library I was eating my lunch today and I think some hot Jewish guy was checking me out. He came with a yamaca and everything! (In reality aforementioned Jewish guy was either A) just looking around as he wrote, B) waiting for someone and checking to see if they arrived, or C) was doing a social behavior psychology experiment and focused on me because I make a lot of crazy arm gestures when I do everything because I am as gay as the men's locker room at the Olympics). Still I like to think that he was thinking about renouncing his religion to be with me.

It must be nice to have attractive people checking you out. All I get are fat latino/african American guys and little boys hitting on me - EVEN ON MYSPACE. (Editor's Note: I have nothing against fat guys or minorities as I have made out with a couple chunky monkeys in my time including a black guy. I'm not racist I hate everybody equally). But at least on myspace I can fuck around with them. I give them my AIM screenname that I give to people I don't really know or like and then I talk to them and attempt to drive them away. My success rate is about 95% but some people are persistent even after I've talked about how I like to wear kitty cat ears or how that burning sensation just will. not. go. away.

It seems easier for the heteros to find people since they do have a bigger pool to find that other fish, but then again maybe not. Maybe they just settle faster. Like my coworker has been seeing this guy and they've been on a couple of dates and she says she doesn't know whether she likes him or not but she's always talking about him so of course that means she does. Well I'm pretty sure her lover boy stopped by work today and if that was him... well... to put it nicely he looks like a Frankenstein monster.

Is that going to be me? Settling for some ugly as sin mother fugger 'cause I'm so desperate for a date?

No, no, no of course not. That will be someone else... settling for me!

Okay I feel much better now that I'm not destined to be with a mutant in my golden years.

2:^)

Oh yeah and here is some linkity to love to all those people who have left me comments. Thank you very much! I love comments. They make me happy and they keep me from cutting myself*

Amopodex
DonDon009
GolfWidow
Hot-Lunch
KungFuKitten
Ric
SixShooter
Spider

*I have never cut myself intentionally nor will I ever because I'm deathly afraid of anything sharper than a spoon. I do not condone cutting and I don't find cutting humor to be in the least bit.**

** Okay maybe a little bit but that's because I am a terrible human being. I give you permission to hate me for my callousness.