Just Call Me Rambley McGillicutty

First, I would like to extend my apologies to all of my lovely blogger buddies who consistently leave me comments that I don't return. I'm very busy right now and don't have time for netiquette. I just want you to know that I greatly appreciate your kind words, funny comments, and most importantly your insults and I promise to return the favor some day when I'm not librarianing my ass off (See: Mid-December thru January).

Second, under Things That Make You Go Ew my new least favorite word for a part of the female anatomy is Beef Drapes.

Third, I would like to apologize to those who were eating when you read Second because I didn't give you proper warning.

Fourth, I am giving up this numbering system because it's annoying me as much as it is annoying you and it'll be even less cute by time I reach One Hundred And Fourty First.

So I saw the movie Happy Feet with my friend PizzaFace and I must say that I was loving every minute of it until the very end. I won't spoil the movie for you but I will advise that as soon as you see real people appear in the film - walk out of the theater. It's all downhill from there but the movie is so good up until that point that it is still definitely worth a peek. I almost stormed the box office for a refund for the last half hour of the film, but sometimes they stick people who are literally mentally retarded behind the counter and I don't want to be out matched in that battle of wits.

And since I'm going out with girls when I should be going out with a big hunk of man meat on a Friday night, I will discuss the boyfront. It has come to my attention that the quote unquote loves of my life are all turning out to be basketcases. It seems like everyone I like has more baggage than a hotel bellhop. They're either too hung up on past relationships or recovering alcoholics or practicing Catholics... Republicans all people that would be disasterous for me to get involved with. I would never be able to settle down and adopt puppies with a man like that!

All of these gay freaks of nature I surround myself with, also make me wonder how I come off to other menfolk. Perhaps there's something about me that sends the stable ones screaming. I think I'm pretty amazing but I'm also pretty single which speaks to the contrary. Hmmm...

In order to rectify this problem my friend (one of the people who has too much baggage) has suggested I try speed dating with him. I'm definitely entertaining the option because I feel like, if nothing else, I'll get some cheap laughs out of it. I looked at the website and there is literally one guy with a weird bulging forehead that looks like something is trying to hatch out of his skull. SO HOTT!

It'll also be fun to think up instant turn offs in case there's a really skeezy guy that is putting the moves on me. The best I can come up with is:

"Want to see my colostomy bag?"

Are there any others I should consider?

2:^)