Let's just file this under, Reasons I Should Not Be Allowed Out In Public.

Day One of My Birthday Month Spectacular can not be summed up in words, so instead I give you the following.

Now imagine me wearing all of the above, running around throwing up the horns and you'll know why I am probably not welcome at the local Hot Topic anymore... not that I ever was. Rollin' in there with my American Eagel shirt, I'm pretty sure defines me as their anti-Christ or at the very least it's like throwing up a gang symbol.

I was disappointed by my visit this time around because last time they were all dressed up like pirates and that thrilled me beyond belief. Or was that Spencers... all those stupid emo stores blur together in my mind. I think I went to Spencers too today, they had a strange assortment of sex toys and games. One of which I played. Each player holds a little remote with a button on it and the object of the game was to be the first one to press a button before a flashing light in the center goes out. The light was blinking for a ridiculously long time so my friend got bored and just smacked my hand to get it over with. What he didn't tell me was THE GAME SHOCKS YOU WHEN YOU LOSE!

My arm went numb and continued to feel that way several minutes later which means I probably sustained some sort of neurological damage. If I wake up tomorrow half paralyzed I will use whatever working limbs are still at my disposal and dial a lawyer to sue the pants off that game manufacturer, the store, my friend, and I may throw in that kid that laughed at me because I squealed like a pig, threw down the remote, and then giggled like a little school girl after I got shocked. No one will be safe!

The rest of my day included hijinx at a mini golf course, which, is it just me, or is every mini golf course a bit of a run down shithole. Every one I've been to has been has been like a tetanus playground just teaming with rusty objects, sketchy waterfalls, and broken animatronic christmas trees (or large robot animal of your choice). I suppose for 4 bucks we got what we paid for so I can't complain, except, like most things in life, it would have been so much more amazing if we had been drunk. And I mean absolutely wrecked. But still good times none the less. The game was really fun. In front of us was a dad and his two sons. The dad patiently tried to teach his kids the finer points of the game even though he was doing worse than the rest of them. Behind us was a couple who stank of alcohol and who were very impatient, barely waiting for us to leave the "green" before they began to shot. Unfortunately for them I was gifted with all the cooridination skills of a libotomized cheerleader and had to take 6 strokes on almost every hole and that's with crying "mulligan" when my ball would say richochet off an object. Note to others playing mini-golf, using the strategy "hit the ball as hard as humanly possible in the general direction of the hole", is NOT a good strategy.

The final hole made the claim "World's longest mini-golf hole!" which was a dubious honor at best. I've seen longer. Oh baby have I ever. 2;^)

But overall the day was very good, I have to do it all over again tomorrow though because a few more of my friends are taking me out. *Le Sigh*

By the end of the weekend I should be sufficiently birthdayed out...

Too bad my dad's birthday is on Monday.

In the immortal words of Charlie Brown, "ARGGGH!"

2:^)