Sex, Romance, Betrayal! - None Of These Things Are In This Entry

Every once in awhile I'm forced to buy my lunch at work because my mother, in her age, seems to forget when she goes grocery shopping that a) she is feeding a family of four and b) that some people like to eat more than one meal a day. So on those days when my kitchen pantry leaves me wanting, I purchase my food from one of the local eateries here on campus. Today I was lured in by the Student Union's promise of a Subway "restaurant"* and for the second time I have been unable to locate it in that massive rat maze of a building. I know it exists. I've seen people walking around flaunting their Subway subs wrapped in little Subway branded bags holding Subway decal-ed cups, and yet I have searched that place high and low and can't seem to find it anywhere! This is very disappointing, especially because I really had a craving for a meatball sub today. Mmm 'ball sub. But instead, I once again had to settle for the reconstituted meat product they're offering up over at the Chik-fil-a.

I suppose I could always ask the information desk which is conveniently located by the entrance I use to get into the building, but they will probably direct me on how to get lost, and I am determined to find that Subway on my own... or die trying (by eating McDonalds... speeeewww)! I'm beginning to suspect it's like Valhalla... where only the worthy get to see it, but whatever the case may be this will now be my quest. As God is my witness, I will find the Subway!

Is it sad that while some people wait their entire lifetime to go on spiritual pilgrimages to see Mecca or the Holy Land, my equivalent is the Student Union Subway?

The answer is yes. Moving on.

I think I have peaked in my folder misnaming scheme. I thought I had hit a slump there when the only 3 letter words I could create were Hog and Man, but then today I remembered the rule where if you have to move more than 5 maps then we will just use 5 to 7 characters for labeling those folders and that was when I strategically left a map where it was so that the label will have to read:

Mud Butt! AHAHAHAHAH (it was originally Mud Butte)

....and I'm officially back in the 5th grade again. But seriously that's about as good as it gets. There's nowhere to go but down from here... or up depending on how you look at it.

Other than that, it has been a rather boring around the library today (shocking, I know), but we managed to entertain ourselves with the many funny titles we find lying around this hell hole. Here's a small sample:

So you think you have Malaria? (A Pamphlet)

A Guide to Telling the Difference Between Bolts and Screws (20 pages long!!!)

And my personal favorites...

Step Into Action!: A Guide Book for the Above-Knee Amputee

How to Spot a Jap.

The last book is the most racist and hilarious thing I have ever read in my life. It's from World War II and details how to tell the difference between a Japanese person and a Chinese person (or Chinamen as they would be so apt to say). What I learned from this book is that Chinese people look and act more European while Japanese people have no waists and are afraid of democracy. And get this - it's illustrated! Which truly makes it seem more legitimate and assures me that everything it says gots to be true.

So if anybody is having any troubles telling their Asians apart just let me know. (This Just In: I found it online! Here you have it folks: How To Spot A Jap Enjoy!)

Alright that's enough rambling for one day. Hope everybody is having a great week so far!

2:^)

*How can those Subway advertising monkeys in good conscience call that franchise a restaurant when your food is made in an assembly line. I suppose the boundary between a restaurant and a face food joint is similar to the fine line between art and pornography in that you can't necessarily describe it but you know the difference when you see it.