Drugs and Boys, Story of My Life

My friend has a kidney stone and refuses to take my advice. I fear his life may be in serious jeopardy because he refuses to take the percoset his doctor prescribed him... and wash it down with a box of wine.

This guy is a real stick in the mud and I like to talk to him because he makes me feel better about myself, but more importantly I talk to him in the hopes that all of his years of repression will result in a cataclysmic blow out! I don't want him to do something simple like get roaring drunk. I want him to get roaring drunk while snortin' coke of a stripper's ass and smoking a Cuban cigar.

It's only a matter of time before it happens so I bide my time. Unfortunately he's too smart to believe me when I say things like the government doesn't want you to have drug interactions because they're too much fun! So it's taking longer than I had ever anticipated. He did burn that Nelly Furtado song Promiscuous onto an oldies mix CD, so I think he's headed in the right direction.

In BoyWatch news, a really hot guy was running towards me shirtless and I was tempted to stage a fall to see if he would stop and help me up but I don't think his homely girlfrend who was running with him would have appreciated me using her man's crotch to help right myself.

Why are the pretty ones always straight... or taken... or whores... or all three? And how can people NOT be attracted to boys? And what was the point of this blog post? Eh whatever. The heterosexual male/lesbian woman lifestyle just seems very unnatural to me. Plain and simple. But I am not here to judge... much.

Since we're on the boyfront I've been talking to this guy on myspace and my usual scare tactics just seem to be turning him on even more. I'm just the funniest, greatest thing that he's ever "met" and I remind him of all of his best friends. By now I would have sent them screaming, but this guy is resilient. We've only talked twice but he's already told me he loves me 3 times and has disclosed more personal information than I would ever want to know. How many people he's slept with (6), when he lost his virginity (15 years old), what his plans are for the day (lunch with auntie and grandma then work at Bed Bath and Beyond) - all without prompting!

Still I suppose the attention is nice. That even though you are TRYING to be as undesirable as possible, that you are still desirable sto someone. So when I feel like I'm all alone and that no one cares about me, I can always find comfort in the thought that some crazy in Pennsylvania is watching out for me.

And probably masturbating to that picture I sent him.

Ew.

2:^)