Schadenfreude!

At my darkest moments, my friends always manage to pull through and cheer me up... whether they like it or not.

One of my friend's recently started teaching 3rd grade at an elementary school down the road from her house. She messaged me the other day to tell me that one of her students... has tourettes!

My gentle response, "AHahaAHAhAHa! What kind?!!?!" I'm pulling for the obscene hand gesture/words kind. Because really, there's nothing more precious than children learning about the birds and the bees because one of their classmates yelled something about titty fucking.

Another friend, who also works with children, told me this:

Horseface: I think I'm getting old.

Your Hero: Why?

Horseface: I dislocated my shoulder trying to krumpdance.

Oooh sweet relief.

On the work front, I would just like to declare Condescendcia the Patronizing, my new official all purpose nemesis (which just means if anything goes wrong in my life she's getting the blame regardless of whether she was involved). Yesterday she came up to me to say have a good weekend and then followed with, "Because it's going to be the last weekend you'll have in the next year and a half." Then she laughed maniacally like she had just tied a woman to some railroad tracks.

She is dead to me. I must come up with new inventive ways to annoy her that also don't get me fired. Like maybe slightly rearranging things in her office just a little bit so that she can't be too sure whether anything was rearranged at all. Or shitting in her filing cabinet. Subtelty is the key.

There are just so many options.

2:^)