Gay Town

I went to my friend's friend's friend's 21st birthday party last night and recovered at about 1 o'clock this afternoon. High class. I was too hung over to drive this morning so I took a sick day today.

Even though I was told my friend's friend's friends would be "over the top" they were tame to the point of being boring and made a mockery of every stereotype I ever had of theater people being the most shameless of nut jobs.* (Hehehe nut jobs). Still my best friend was there so I had an excellent time regardless. Little did I know before we headed out though that we were going to a GAY bar so I was going to be firmly ensconced in homosexuality and losing my gay bar cherry (and no I don't mean losing my cherry at a gay bar I mean I've never been to a gay bar perverts). What was fun though is that one of my friend's friend's friend's friends didn't know he was gay and he wrote on his facebook wall something about "Can't wait to go to the bar and scope out the ladies with you". I don't think his boyfriend would appreciate that. But I was kind of hoping we would go to the bar and he would be like the guy with no gaydar and roll in there like "wow this place is a real sausagefest" but much to my chagrin he did not and I think the news dawned on him pretty quickly when one of the guys we were with started showing off his Tiffany's bracelet.

The bar was very nice, all very shi shi and pretentious and the bartenders were gorgeous. Mmm beefy bar tenders. Not to mention the drinks were phenomenal (hence I got so wasted face without even realizing it). Couldn't even taste the alcohol.

My Friend's Friend: The bartenders were all very nice! At other gay bars I've been to they ignore the girls, but the bartender there was like "What do you want, sweetie?"

Your Hero: He said that to me too!

My best friend was in heaven even though none of my friend's friend's friends were talking to us. She even got a wink and a compliment from a drag queen that was parading around the bar.

Pickle Smuggler: You are so fierce. You're beautiful!

Your Hero's Best Friend: Oh my god! You're so cute, thank you!

Her name was "Christina". After this exchange, my best friend asked me if people thought she was a man and then told me how she kept forgetting she was in a gay bar and had to refrain from givin' the eyes to the fellas. Hah! Gotta love her. I'm disappointed there were no lesbians though, she really wanted to score some free drinks but it just wasn't happening. Oh well maybe next time.

Overall everything was great sans hangover and I'm glad I didn't get hit on by old men or gang banged while I was in the bathroom... or maybe I did the night is a bit of a blur. I'm probably full of herpes now.

Now I have to go to Pride and have sex at a club and I'm pretty sure I've done most things gay unless someone has other suggestions?

2:^)

P.S. I just thought this was funny/ignorant:

Double Dose of Racism:

Scene: Asian man at the Thai restaurant trying to figure out every body's ages from our drivers licenses.

Your Hero: Jesus is this like a math test for him?

(The Cuban Guy that wants my junks overhears)

Mister Sister: He's asian he should be able to tell us our ages and calculate our tax returns in his head.

Some Guy: No that's the jews.

Scene: My work place, the student assistants are avoiding work at all costs.

(The hairy dirty hipster and the other gay student assistant are talking when I come in).

Jewbacca (hey he's hairy and jewish): Did you hear about this story? They rescued some mexicans that were stuck on a boat for 11 months.

Your Hero: Why?

*I've been friends with theater people all my life so don't go crying to me that you're theater person and are offended.