Monday, September 08, 2008

Watching my weight... go up!

So ever since graduating from my masters program, I decided to get my life back in order - eat right, work out, read more, date more. Then I got injured and couldn't work out, and then my schedule got thrown off so I ate out one day, and then I remembered how delicious it was to eat out so I ate out more and more to the point where my pants could have been registered as lethal weapons because the buttons could have flown off at any minute and killed someone. When you feel fat and gross you don't very much feel like dating anyone so it's all just a vicious cycle of bad eating which leads to other  poor life decisions. On the plus side I got plenty of reading done, but then again I am a librarian so that doesn't really count for much.  Still I was fat and happy and well read!

Now I just want to be happy give or take the books. Unfortunately I am at what some might call an awkward weight. In the gay community I am a sumo wrestler, in the straight community I am a skinny bitch and I would just like to be able to run up the stairs without getting winded so as you can see I am at quite a crossroads. My solution is working out at home so I don't have to be judged by all the fatty fatty 2 by 4s at the gym and won't be distracted by hot guys lifting weights (and any awkward lockerroom showering there after).

The first step of my fitness plan was to stop stuffing my face like a competitive eater and apparently my normal eating habits are starting to pay off. I went out with my friend Handyman (so named because he told me he likes to give out hand jobs - and no I am not one of his hand-i-johns) the other day and he commented that I looked like I had lost weight. I told him I just wear tighter clothes these days (which was true the shirt I was wearing that day had shrunk in the wash but it fit like a dream the day I bought it no wonder that piece of crap was on the clearance rack but so help me God I'll wear it until I get a hole in it but I digress...). 

Moments ago I weighed myself and it turns out I lost 5 lbs! 

Who knew not eating Snickers for breakfast could have such positive health effects. 

Today I started working out again and before you know it I'll be doing AIDS Walks and Marathons the world over... or at the very least I'll be taking the stairs instead of the escalator at work... but lets not get too ahead of ourselves.