Saturday, October 21, 2006

Ringtones for Diabolical Purposes

Apparently there's a sound that can only be heard by people younger than 30ish which was created at the same pitch as that of a mosquito. This sound has been turned into a ringtone which students use to alert themselves they have a message without drawing the attention of the professor. This rington has been creatively called The Mosquito Buzz Ringtone.

I find the sound quite painful to listen to so just be warned all your 30 and unders (or 30 and overs testing your aural age).

(Editor's Note: Attempting to wake your cat with this sound will only result in her realizing you are in the room and trying to cuddle you to death -not the jump-halfway-to-the-moon startle response that you were originally hoping for.)


Thursday, October 12, 2006

Homework Is Fun!

F0r one of my assignments I had to locate a patent, which are conveniently located at our engineering library which is in the math building for some reason. Before I headed over there though I decided to look through the patent guides which are conveniently located on their website.

After much thought and deliberation I decided what product I wanted to look for and after checking several patent websites, I was able to locate a record, but not the actual patent itself. Much like everyone else on the planet I only go to the library as a last resort (which I guess is hypocritical since I want to become a librarian), fortunately I was on campus today and happened to be headed in the direction so I headed on in.

There I found the service desk and asked one of the women who was busy playing a game for some help. She was very nice and began looking for the patent on sites that I had already checked, but I let her go with it anyway and pretended I was shocked when her search queries brought 0 results. After confessing that she wasn't sure whether we could locate it or not, she suggested that we might need to consult the patent librarian who just so happened to be walking by the desk at the time. I can't tell you how old he was but I'm pretty sure he came over on the Mayflower. This man began doing a complicated search and was able to locate patents for products similar to my own. In the meantime, another woman at the service desk had begun searching for the patent and pulling up sites about my product.

And what exactly did I request a patent for that had 3 reference librarians drop everything they were doing for almost half an hour?

A little product I like to call

The Flowbee!

Something tells me the phrase "vacuum haircutter" has never been spoken within those walls.

Always glad to leave my mark.


Friday, October 06, 2006

No Time To Crap

So my friend who was mad at me for repeating something that someone else said because I wanted to know his reaction and he basically went apeshit which prompted me to say he needs to get a sense of humor which made him go even more apeshit (apeshittier?) and thus sparked the last post and then this sentence which stopped being a real sentence about two or three ignored commas ago...

Well he apologized for his overblown response.

Bwhahaha! Racism wins again!

Wait what?

In other news, I haven't written in this piece in forever because I've been very very busy. I've got more homework than I know what to do with and if it keeps up at this rate I'm going to have to start wearing Depends because I won't have time for bathroom breaks.

You can thank me later for that visual.

Otherwise, things have been absolutely super. I'm getting along better and better with my coworkers every day. My new favorite person is the new gay student assistant. He's kind of cute even though I can't tell how old he is/he has long hair. LONG HAIR ICK! I think what I enjoy most about him is that he seems very nice at first, but then after hearing me openly make fun of our coworkers to their faces, he's taken to bad mouthing them to me via email.

If you can smack talk with the best of them you have a friend in me! And he is no limits too! Be it the fact they paint in their eyebrows or dress like a homely lesbian. Most importantly of all he makes fun of to no end. The other day he was being such a smart ass I threatened to cock slap him.

This is how I flirt.

And I wonder why I'm single.