Gay.com

Because I'm just not gay enough, I finally made a Gay.com profile entered the chat. I used it a little last night and a little this morning and I've already been solicited for sex approximately 29382957 times and I've seen more pictures of men in their underewear than I ever wanted to. Young big-headed librarians are apparently a hot commodity these days.

I managed to offended tons of people because instead of talking about my bedroom habits, I would try engage them in conversation about books and their interests. I don't think I've got Gay.com netiquette down yet. (Note To Self: Learn to say "Hung?" instead of "Hi!")

There's only been two slightly sketchy moments (and probably more to come).

The first, a young latino man who said hello by asking me if I was a top or bottom. When I said I wasn't online to hook up he said he wasn't either and then asked me a laundry list of questions about how tall I was, how hairy I was... you know those questions you ask people you want to be friends with.

The best question he asked me by far was...

how...

big...

my...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
FEET ARE!

AHAHAHAH!

The conversation ended thereafter.

Then there was this morning. A 54 year old man (who may or may not be gay/married) offered to buy me lunch. When I said I couldn't because I have a project to do *coughnothingtodocough*, he started asking me questions about myself. One was whether I've done anything with a guy. When I said that I had, he seemed rather turned off.

"I don't think I want to take you to lunch anymore... you seemed so innocent."

When I asked him what he meant by that he wouldn't go into it anymore but kept talking about my apparent lack of innocence.

He then made the mistake of asking me what I thought of him.

What I learned from our exchange is that people don't like it when you tell them they sound like a pedophile. If that man ever had any questions about his sexuality, the hissyfit he threw after that comment confirmed it for me.

Good times.

2:^)

P.S. New way to instantly turn a guy offer (inspired by a gay.com profile). Say you're into wearing diapers and soiling yourself!